Only Hope
by RauhlPrincess
Summary: So I lay my head back down, and I lift my hands and pray to be only yours. You're my only hope. He had told her to have faith in him, and she owed it to him to keep believing. (6x09 one-shot) inspired by the song by Mandy Moore.


**A/N: Now for something I've never done before…a song lyrics fic . Well, it's sort of a mix of AU, lyrics, and some canon. Last night gave me some serious feels that really inspired me, so I decided to put it to some use. This song was the first one that popped into my head for 6x09 and I know it might seem cheesy, but give it a chance. It's not going to be like your typical song fic as I am trying something a little different. It's a tad AU, but not too much where it's ridiculous. **

**Hope you enjoy! I do not own the song "Only Hope" by Mandy Moore (written by Switchfoot) or the characters. Just the writing :)**

* * *

She walks home alone that night. She doesn't bother to call a cab or a limo. She just walks. Tears are streaming down her face, her heels are in her hands, her glistening engagement ring hanging by the thin chain that held it, her dress is threatening to suffocate her, her mind is racing. She doesn't even know where's she's going. She just had to get out of there. Get away from all of the broken faces, the murmurs of s_orry_, the people trying to crowd around her. She didn't want any of that. She didn't _want _for people to pity her.

She just wanted to go home.

She looked up at her destination and sighed. She realized she was in front of her penthouse's building. This place had never been her home.

_He _had been her home. _Was _her home.

She fought off tears as she padded barefoot across the lobby and pressed the elevator button. It seemed to get to the lobby. She pressed it over and over again, her pushes harder each time until she was slamming her hand into it. She could practically feel the eyes burning through her back, but for once in her life, Blair Waldorf didn't care. Nothing mattered to her anymore. Not Waldorf Designs, not how high she sat on the steps, not who followed who and who didn't. She finally understood what he had felt the previous year. She couldn't feel a thing. Not even the force of her hand hitting the elevator button.

The elevator floors finally dinged open and she floated dimly inside of it. No one dared enter with her. The doors slowly closed and she leaned against the cool back of the elevator. She closed her eyes and started breathing heavily.

"_Elevator sex, isn't that sort of shallow of us?"_

"_We could never be shallow."_

Suddenly she couldn't wait to get out of the elevator. She flung herself on the parallel wall, her hands grasping onto it for dear life. Her fingernails dug into the doors and left dim scratches. The doors opened with a thud and she stumbled out. The lights were off, tile floor cold. No one was home. She liked it that way. She wanted to be alone forever.

_At least if she couldn't be with him._

She threw her heels in frustration. They missed her intended spot and hit the vase on the foyer table, shattering the red vase in a million tiny pieces.

_Just like her heart._

She sinks to her knees and stares at the mess in front of her.

_Dorota will clean it up in the morning. _

Her eyes float over to the piano in the corner. It's dark, but she can still see the outer rim of it glowing white. She doesn't know how she manages to stand back up and make her way to the piano, but the next think she knows her fingers are tracing the slick edge of it. Her hands glide across the piano before stopping abruptly. She can almost feel their heat: passion, hatred, love, and lust all fusing together.

_Every nerve ending in my body is electrified by hatred. _

She retracts her hand as if she had just burned her hand on a stove and stands there for a few moments, completely frozen. Her Harry Winston engagement ring glistens in the moonlight shining through the window. With a sudden harsh tug, the chain breaks and the small beads hit the floor with light tapping noises. She jams the ring on the appropriate finger and holds her hand out in front of her. This wasn't like her previous engagement ring. It was wholesome, elegant, lovely, and meant more to Blair than any other possession she had ever owned.

_But he may never come back._

Her hand comes back down to rest on the piano as she walks slowly toward the bench, dragging it behind her. She opens the bench with a loud creaking noise. It hadn't been opened in ages. She tries to remember who last opened it. Louis? Herself? Cyrus? She gulps loudly as the dim light shines on the top folder:

_Blair Cornelia Waldorf's Favorite Music._

The folder is black with various glittery stickers on it. She, like most Upper East Side children, was taught piano from age six on. Although she was never amazing at it, she had mastered most of the songs in the folder. Being Blair Waldorf, she just couldn't give up until she perfected it. She walks over to the nearest lamp and clicks it on before returning to the bench. She shakily picks up the folder and flips it open. Her eyes read the first sheet music title.

_Only Hope – From the Motion Picture "A Walk To Remember", sung by Mandy Moore_

She rips the sheet music out of the folder and throws the folder back in the bench hastily. She closes the bench lightly and sits down. She arranges the sheet music in front of her delicately and takes a deep breath. Closing her eyes, she feels the keys with the tips of her fingers to familiarize herself with them. Although she hasn't played seriously in years, something is compelling her to play. Her heart beats fast as she remembers her lover sitting in the very same spot, his fingers lingering on the very same keys. She stiffly hits the first chords. Then the next. She opens her eyes slowly and focuses on the sheet in front of her. Then she begins to sing.

* * *

**There's a song that's inside of my soul**

**It's the one that I've tried to write over and over again.**

"_So whenever you forget you're Blair Waldorf, remember I'm Chuck Bass, and I love you."_

_She cries into her pillow when she realizes how she doesn't even recognize herself anymore without him._

**I'm awake in the infinite cold**

**But you sing to me over and over and over again**

_She's standing alone in Central Park. It's wintertime and the cold wind is whipping at her porcelain skin. A twelve year old Chuck Bass comes up to her, a coffee in each hand._

"_Care to have a coffee with me Waldorf?" She rolls her eyes, but inside she's smiling. _

_It's just what she needed to get her mind off of her family troubles. _

**So I lay my head back down**

**And I lift my hands**

**and pray to be only Yours**

_She's on her knees begging in the hospital for his life. Pleading. She'd give anything for him to live happily._

_Even if it meant sacrificing her happiness instead._

**I pray to be only Yours**

**I know now you're my only hope**

_To see him live would be enough to carry her along. He carries people._

_He carries her._

**Sing to me the song of the stars**

**Of Your galaxy dancing and laughing**

**and laughing again**

_They're stumbling through the dimly lit streets of Munich, Germany drunk off of their asses. She's laughing at some perverted joke he made that's even funnier because it's coming from his mouth. He's just laughing because he can't resist to join her. It's their first summer together and they're so in love that neither of them are ashamed of themselves anymore. For the first time in her life, Blair feels free. She turns to look at Chuck and he smiles goofily at her. She leans in and kisses his lips deeply, surprised she didn't completely miss his face. He deepens the kiss and she feels like she's in an arena of bliss._

**When it feels like my dreams are so far**

**Sing to me of the plans that you have for me over again**

"_I promise that one day I'm going to marry you. But we need to accomplish our dreams first. I want nothing to be in the way of us when we start our life as Mr. and Mrs. Bass. I want to devote myself to you and love you the right way." She's crying, the tears splashing onto her purple robe. She nods in agreement as she clasps the ring tightly in her palm. He threads the chain through the ring and wraps it around her neck. She let's go of it and it falls limp in between the valley of her breasts. They both stare at it a moment, half in disbelief and half in wonder. She breaks the trance by kissing him deeply. He pulls away and holds her hand._

"_It won't be long, I promise."_

**So I lay my head back down**

**And I lift my hands and pray**

**To be only yours **

_She cries in Serena's arms so hard not because he just declared war on her._

_But because she wants to be the woman by his side. And she's too damn stubborn to admit it._

**I pray to be only yours**

**I know now you're my only hope**

_She could say that Nathaniel Archibald was the boy that saved her from falling headfirst. That Serena Van Der Woodsen was the best friend that kept her standing tall. But for some reason, as her eighteen year old self stares in the mirror, she has to be most thankful for her dark knight. _

_Because he knows her better than she knows herself._

**I give You my destiny**

**I'm giving You all of me**

"_Are you sure?" _

_She's never been so certain._

**I want Your symphony**

**Singing in all that I am**

_He's playing her favorite Coldplay melody on the piano and she's singing along softly as she lies on her stomach on top of it. He's always been a better piano player than she was. But nothing could compare to the sweet, melodic sound of her voice. She never sings for anyone but him. It's reserved for only him and her shower walls. It's a part of her she's never shown to anyone else, nor does she ever plan to. He looks up at her and gets so entranced that he fumbled with the notes. She shakes her head and he smirks. She leans further over the end of the piano and kisses him lightly._

_She's never felt so purely in love._

**At the top of my lungs **

**I'm giving it back**

"_You say I always bet against you. But this time I'm all in." She pushes the poker chips across the table swiftly and meets his gaze._

_She would always bet on them._

**So I lay my head back down**

**And I lift my hands and pray**

**To be only yours**

_It's her first day without him lying next to her and she's never felt so lonely. Her father's château has never felt so empty and cold. Her dream room suddenly seems like a jail cell. She pats Cat absentmindedly as her other hand plays with the ring around her neck._

_She is finally on her way to becoming Mrs. Bass. And she's never felt so confident about anything in her whole entire life._

**I pray to be only yours**

**I pray to be only yours**

**I know now you're my only hope**

_"Have faith in me."_

* * *

She hums the ending of the song peacefully as tears stream down her face and onto her dress. As she reaches the last note, a sob escapes. Her fingers play the last chord as she recollects herself. She slowly raises her fingers from the keys and levitates them about a centimeter above them.

All of the sudden, she hears clapping. At first she thinks it's coming from outside, but the next noise told her otherwise.

"What a beautiful composition, _lover_."

* * *

**A/N: Sorry for the sort of cliffhangery ending, but I hope you liked it :) I know it's a lot different than what I usually write, but I like to try different writing styles. I've seen some song fics, some good and bad, and have never really been in too love with them, so I combined flashbacks/memories to make it a sort of combined style. I immediately got this idea minutes after watching the promo and Only Hope came on my Spotify shuffle. I am so in love with that song and movie! **

**R&Rs are love. I really want to know what you guys thought of this story especially. Anons are loved too! Thank you loves.**

**XOXO, Becca**


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